BREAKING: Quidditch Australia Slammed as Evidence of Ball Tampering Emerges

It is a dark day for Quidditch in Australia, as evidence has emerged showing ball tampering is rife across the entire sport. Not even the World Cup final in 2016 is free from controversy.


It is alleged that across most tournaments in Australia, many available quaffles – a volleyball used to score points – and bludgers – the dodgeballs used by beaters to knock players out of play – were under-inflated. This has a distinct effect on how the ball is thrown and caught, giving the team ready for such circumstances a clear advantage.

It is still being determined just how deep this goes – with some in the community fearing that entire tournaments may have been played under these conditions.

The balls used for the 2017 QUAFL Final. Were these balls under-inflated? PC: Ajantha Abey

The balls used for the 2017 QUAFL Final. Were these balls under-inflated? PC: Ajantha Abey

This is now Australia’s #deflategate, and many are calling for the leadership of Quidditch Australia to be sacked.

There is even evidence that under-inflated balls were used in the 2016 World Cup Grand Final. Quidditch experts say that a thrown bludger from star Team USA beater Max Havlin that missed Australia’s Seeker Dameon Osborn seconds before the winning snitch catch may have hit if the ball was fully inflated – casting a shadow over the miraculous win.

Quidditch Australia President Luke Derrick gave a tearful press conference this morning.

“Firstly I’m deeply sorry. I love the game of Quidditch, I love entertaining young kids. I love kids wanting to play the great game of Quidditch that I love,” he said.

“Any time you think about making a questionable decision, think about who you’re affecting.

“But I just want to say I’m sorry for the pain I’ve brought to Australia and the fans and the public, it’s devastating and I’m truly sorry.”

However, Derrick will continue in his role as President of QA, saying “I won’t be considering stepping down. I still think I’m the right person for the job.”